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Firecracker
Thunder echoed through the canyons of Midtown. It was raining. Traffic on Fifth was at a standstill, red tail lights clear to the Empire State. I stepped into the city from the park as a distant voice rose above it all: “Everything really does happen in Manhattan.” Sadly, there was some confusion as to when…
Read MoreA Breakfast Of Regret
Had I not snapped out of my slumber as the driver blew past my apartment and turned west towards the river, I’m sure I would have woken up in a tub of ice water with an incision where my liver used to be. Not that it’s of much use these days. Aaaah, Sweet Brooklyn, Borough…
Read MoreThe Big Idea
I’d feel a lot better about the next two weeks running from work to rehearsals to performances to triathlons to business trips if I weren’t so fucking sore. I hadn’t planned on running the Bronx Half Marathon Sunday morning. I’ve done it for the last four years. See, there’s a race in every borough, and…
Read MoreThe Big Idea
And I thought I’d pretty much wasted the weekend. But that was before The Big Idea. Come Saturday evening I didn’t have much to show for myself. Sure, I caught the midnight screening of ‘Spinal Tap’ (and realized just how many lines from the film I’ve integrated into my daily vocabulary). And sleeping in (10:17!)…
Read MoreHey, did I mention that I have a really big show next Friday? Used to be I performed on the Lower East Side every 3-4 weeks or so. That was back when I was billed as ‘Benjamin Wagner Deluxe,’ which was a fully distorted power trio. That was back when I wore blue vinyl pants…
Read MoreIt seemed like a good idea at the time. But now I think I’ve said too much. The primary feedback I get on The Daily Journal (other than, “I love your writing,” ha ha) are as follows: Why don’t you write about me? Why did you write that about me? Why don’t you write more…
Read MoreA Day At The Lake
One full day to myself on The Lake, and what do I do? I watch ‘A Wedding Story’ marathon on TLC. All afternoon. I understand now why Americans are super-sized. I spent the balance of the foggy day-after in front of the television, picking through the fridge, and staring out at the cold gray white…
Read MoreGunpowder & Sky
I am sore in ways I never knew possible. I arrived Providence, RI, Saturday morning at 10:30. My buddy Seamus, Communications Director for Boston’s Big Dig, met me at the train station. Pausing only for coffee, he pointed his Accord northward beneath bright blue skies and billowing white clouds. We detoured through Boston where Seasmus…
Read MoreA Farewell To Arms
Nights like these it feels as though I’m the last person in New York City. 56th Street is quiet. There was no traffic on Ninth Avenue. The office was quiet. Everyone is off to the beach, the country, the mountains. Everyone is off to find just one moment of peace from this crazy, messed up…
Read MoreSmells Like Teen Spirit
I passed a teenager on my street this morning wearing a ‘Corporate Magazines Still Suck’ shirt. His homage to Kurt Cobain was, ironically, handmade with a Sharpie and a Planet Hollywood T-shirt. I had to laugh. This is a kid who was about 8-years-old when Cobain stuck a shotgun barrel in his mouth and ended…
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