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Down Time
“You can always tell the veterans; they bring magazines to the cafeteria,” he said. It was lunch time. We were waiting for the elevator. They are notoriously slow in the afternoon. I turned down my iPod. “Yeah, I’m not so good with the down time.” A few minutes later, we exited the building into the…
Read MoreGirlfriend
I really wanted to record a cover of Matthew Sweet’s ‘Girlfriend’ for ya’ll tonight. Butcha’ know what? It’s 11:28 and this fourth beer is speeling one thing: S-L-E-E-P. Still… an interesting day. It went something like this… Morning, this morning, the curtains are shut… wait, that’s a YAZ song. I wake up, I head in.…
Read MoreThe Miracle Of Mindfulness
I sat down for dinner tonight at 10:54 p.m. It was just lettuce, nuts, and tofu, so I feel o.k. about eating so late. But still, can I guy get a mellow, post-triathlon Monday? I woke up pretty early this morning, before the alarm even, on account of the fact that I basically ate and…
Read MorePost Time
I suffer from what I’ve come to call ‘post-race letdown’ (in the case of sports) or ‘post-gig let down’ (in the case of music). Come feel me tremble… It started like this: 5:30 this morning, I hop on my bike and ride down to the river. I slide it into position #1517, arrange my things…
Read MoreEveryone’s Changing (I Don’t Feel The Same)
I’m the worst. I have a wicked cool wristwatch. I always feel dressed up when I’m wearing it (which is always), even if I’m in pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and flip flops. Plus, it keeps terrific time. I have five clocks in my 800-square-foot apartment: one in the living room, one in the kitchen, one…
Read MorePlease Love Me
I’ve had the same mic stand for fourteen years. It’s seen plenty of action prior to its current incarnation as the foundation of my new home studio. It’s a boom mic stand. It was purchased in 1990 with money earned by my college band, Smokey Junglefrog. We were paid to stealthily set up in the…
Read MoreI’m A Wheel (I Will)
“Gosh, I don’t remember when last time I saw you was,” she said. “I don’t either,” I replied, “But I’m pretty sure we were making out.” I met my long-time friend Jen for dinner last night. We went to high school together back in the Eighties (ha ha). Actually, I crashed her meal with a…
Read MoreCan You Hear Me (I’ve Been Calling All Day)
I disconnected my phone today. For good. Let’s be honest, the traditional LAN line doesn’t really serve much of a function anyway. I mean, no one calls me on it but telemarketers. And now that I’ve joined the 21st Century with my cellphone and internet broadband connection, well, let’s just say Verizon’s lost another customer…
Read MoreSunrise, Sunset
It’s Sunday night. The sun has set. And I seem to have squandered my weekend. ‘Treasure of the Sierra Madre’ is paused on the DVD player. Dinner (mixed greens with pine nuts, sunflower seeds, tofu, garbonzo beans, and a hard boiled egg) is gone. I made the requisite paternal communique. I spent time in Central…
Read MoreSimplest Terms, Convenient Definitions
Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. John Hughes bottled the cultural zeitgeist of teen angst before it turned midnight…
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