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Secret Smile
I never open my mouth when I smile. Twenty-three years of painful and largely fruitless orthedontia, periodontistry, and destristry have left me (and my parents) thousands of dollars poorer, and without a smile worth showing. This bums me out. And not just because everyone’s whitening and getting all cosmetic. It bums me out because it’s…
Read MoreThe Heart Of A Tuesday Night
I was picking up some groceries at Gristede’s last night when the woman who was bagging said, “I like your button.” The woman who was ringing me up said, “What!?! You like his butt!?!” I made a bunch of what I call “heartbeat buttons” for last fall’s release of “Love & Other Indoor Games.” It’s…
Read MoreMy Happy Ending
I could’ve gotten it perfect, but it’s so much more fun to get it close enough. Picture it. I’m two beers into a Monday night. I step out onto my deck. I’m shocked by the quantity of stars. My iPod’s on shuffle. Avril Lavigne’s “Happy Ending” comes on. Wait a second: don’t hate the player,…
Read MoreLive Forever
Listen, I’ll be honest with you. This is a pitch, straight up. I spent the weekend remixing the live CD, “February 25, 2005.” It sounded great, and everyone who’s purchased it has been thrilled (my favorite email: “Jesus Christ you coulda warned a girl. Best thing I’ve heard in ages. Thank you — totally made…
Read MoreThe Memory Of Running, Part II
I’m back from my first half-marathon of the season. I finished well, and am happy to report that I’m still walking. I’m not a pro, or even much of a weekend warrior. But I’ve been running road races, half-marathons, marathons and triathlons for about eight years. I’ve learned a thing or two. So here are…
Read MoreShiver (To Keep Myself Warm)
I stood in Central Park with Ethan and Chris this morning listening to the sound of winter turning to spring. The trees were cracking to shed their icey blankets. The wind blew snow from their limbs. The hum of a thousand water droplets and tiny streams was everywhere. And I thought, ‘This is what spring…
Read MoreSomething
I passed my neighbor Tierney on my way up the five flights to my apartment earlier. She was headed to a play, then meeting a blind date. “The plot,” she said, “sickens.” In the book of my life, tonight’s chapter is fairly brief. The dishwasher is running downstairs. MTV’s “Making The Band” is on the…
Read MoreThe Black Keys
I went to Pianos last night to see my friend Ivan’s band, Echolalia. I missed them, which always sucks, but saw two great performances from Johnny Society and Snowden. Johnny Society — crappy band name notwithstanding — was amazing, most of the time. The band sounds like Joe Cocker meets The Doors meets The Pixies,…
Read MoreWinterlong
It wasn’t the wind-whipped Chicago or ice-choked Philadelphia winters of my youth that broke my spirit, it was Syracuse, New York. When I was in college, the snow began falling in September and didn’t relent until just before finals in May. The snow drifted over our heads, locking our cars to the curbside. Worse still,…
Read MoreThe Big Chill
Yes, my weekend in Jacksonville, Florida, had its frivilous “American Pie” and vacuous “Real World” moments, but fundamentally, it was much more of a substantive “Big Chill” kinda’ thing. It was a whirlwind. I woke at three, got my car at four, and met colleague Vanessa White Wolf at JFK at 5. AM, that is.…
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