What Happens On The Upper East Side…

Yes, that’s Ashton Kutcher with his arm around my wife.

I should’ve seen the signs: her new Kabalah bracelet, “The Butterfly Affect” in our Netflix queue, “Punk’d” on TiVo. And she’s been wearing a lot of leapard prints.

If only I weren’t at the office all day, then in the edit all night. If only I were taller, and had more facial hair. And more money.

Oh well, at least he’s a nice boy from Iowa. And we do both wear baseball caps.

I kid, of course.

While Chris and I were editing “Mister Rogers & Me,” Abbi was enjoying a sneak peak of the forthcoming Ashton Kutcher/Cameron Diaz vehicle, “What Happens In Vegas;” one of the perks of the job, apparently.

Abbi reports: “It’s was actually kind of cute. It’s basically about the first year of marriage. Yunno’, guys are messy, girls are clean.”

My wife has all the fun.

Relatedly, here’s Mr. Kutcher from a recent MTV.com interview:

“When you’re in bed, and you’re married to someone, don’t fart under the covers and trap her under the covers, because she gets pissed.”

Sage advice, sir.