Nothing + Everything = Nothing

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: nothing is real and everything is for sale.

That Audrey Hepburn + AC/DC Gap mash-up is perfect case in point. Independent of one another, Audrey, AC/DC, and, heck, even “skinny black pants” are well worth their praises. Together? The worst. Surely Ms. Hepburn frowning down on her son (who approved the useage). It’s the worst.

Make that the second worst. Last week, The Detroit Free Press reported that Chevrolet is replacing Bob Seger’s “Like A Rock” to John Mellencamp “Our Country.” CNN furthered that the ads will be “utilizing imagery from Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 in ad spot.” I couldn’t believe it… until I saw it myself.

Abbi and I were celebrating our nineteen-mile run with a few pints and a plate of hot wings at an Irish pub on the Upper East Sunday evening. Being football season and all, the plasma screans were raging in their technicolor glory. The spot premiered just before the Detroit Lions went into overtime with the St. Louis Cardinals.

There’s John Mellencamp strumming an acoustic guitar… hay bails… corn fields… a barn… oooh! There’s the truck. Fine lookin’ thing: polished steel and glass, all sparkly-like… Rosa Parks (hmmm)… miscellaneous firemen… another beauty shot… some cowboys… a flooded-out Ninth Ward…

And then, plane as day, er, night: The Coup de Grace — the September 11th Tribute in Light.

I made a bit of a scene. I slapped my knee (like old guys do) and said, “Son of a bitch! They actually did it! September 11th is now officially for sale!”

I’m not really sure what to do with my increasing disgust of modern American culture. (And yes, I realize that I’m implicated.) I’m sure I should just relax, grin and bear it.

Remember “Back To The Future” (I don’t remember if it was 1, 2, or 3) when Marty visits the future and Biff Tannen owns all of Twin Pines and there gangs, casinos, and billboards everywhere and people have Nike logos on their foreheads?

The future is now. This is our country. (At fifteen miles per gallon.)

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