The Rest Of My Life

I have found just one thing in my life that can make me smile anytime, hands-down, no matter what: Ethan. Rocknroll, however, is currently running a close second.

Last night was another one of those Great Moments in Rocknroll History. Chris tackled ‘Long Shot,’ which he nailed. It so rocks. Then he dropped an arpegiated line and a solo on ‘Stupid,’ which I pretty much had nothing to do with — I was ordering dinner and wandering around the studio and reading magazines and such. Kev and Chris totally took care of it, and made ‘Stupid’ sound twenty times tastier. Then dinner came. And then the magic started. (Or maybe that’s when the Heineken kicked in.)

So here’s the scene: I tell Kevin and Chris that ‘The Rest of My Life’ is the single, and it’s gotta’ be great, because I’m shooting a video for it on Sunday (which is hilariously backward and ridiculously ambitious). Then I leave. I walk outside to get more beer, sit on a park bench and stare at the Empire State building, and generally make myself scarce. When I get back, Kev and Chris are leaned into the mixing board deconstructing the song. They’ve dropped everything but the beat and the bass. They’re starting from scratch. And where I would have added guitar and keyboards and gone for a bigger, badder sound, Kev and Chris play me their proposal. It’s sparse. It’s all space. And it grooves … hard. It’s actually pretty f’in’ sexy.

Yeah, I said it: sexy.

So Chris tracks it in, like, two takes. And Kev lays down a keyboard part. And just as Kev’s shutting down ProTools and Chris is packing his bag, I’m all like, ‘You gotta’ let me take another pass at that vocal.’ And God bless ‘m, he does. And I do. All breathy and, ahem, sexy…

I wanna spend the night lyin’ here beside you
I wanna’ spend some time curled up inside you
I wanna’ spend the rest of my life

All of which is about what happened, not what it felt like, and not what it all means. So lemme’ say this. I’m aware of the fact that a song called ‘The Rest of My Life’ on a record called ‘Love & Other Indoor Games’ with an album cover with me and a beautiful woman on it and a video with me and a beautiful woman moving in to a new apartment together (there ya’ go: that’s the treatment) borders on cheese. But I can’t help it. It just all seems too perfect. Too salient. Not because it’s what’s going on in my life — not even close (well, I am moving, but not with anyone) — but because it’s what I want to be going on in my life. Which is kinda’ staggering. To me. I guess (and this should be a new paragraph but I don’t want it standing out on its own) I’m acting out my fantasies. Which I guess is kinda’ what I was doing with the ‘New York’ video. I guess that’s part of it. I guess that’s why they call it a Rocknroll fantasy.

So, how does it feel? It feels a little like a thinking, ‘I’m going to do this and then I’m going to do that’ and then you actually go and do it. Except that it’s not temporary, it’s not just an activity or a sentiment, it’s a document. It’s an actual piece of art that you mass produce and distribute. And it’s got your thoughts and dreams and hopes and, well, and your fantasies, written all over it. Which feels pretty vulnerable. And maybe a little stupid. Or maybe just a little bit courageous.