What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
“I used to go to a female masseuse exclusively, but nowadays, it’s always a Russian guy. Europeans aren’t all weird about the body. And those guys know how to use their hands.”
“So you like ’em hairy.”
“Yeah. So last time he says to me, ‘You need colonic.'”
“I’m all about it. You gotta’ clean that shit out. I hear you feel, like, ten pounds lighter.”
“I say it’s exit only.”
“So how do you know? I mean, how do you know you won’t stop looking or wanting?”
“I just know that I don’t want to live without her. Not that I wanna’ kill myself or anything. I just don’t want to live without her.”
“I want that man.”
You gotta’ stop dating those Twinkies.”
“What!?! Twinkies?”
“Yeah, you gotta’ keep focussed. You gotta’ keep looking for that perfect woman.”
“You always date skank, man.”
“Skank!?! Who did I ever date that was skank?”
“(Name Withheld).”
“Listen, I’m not saying she hadn’t been with many, many men, but skank?”
“Tell me one thing wrong with a skanky woman?”
“(Specific Ailment Withheld)?”
“Ok, other than that.”
“So do you go for the coffee colonic? Or water?”
“Warm water, a bag and a tube. Old school.”
“I hear coffee’s the jam.”
“You don’t wanna’ do coffee. All that caffeine and thin tissue membrane?”
“Exactly.”
“When you die, what’s the one thing you wanna’ be remembered for? The one creative project? You know, the movie, the record, the book … what?”
“My show.”
“My documentary about my dad.”
“My son.”
“I think the really cool thing is that you don’t know what’s gonna’ happen next. You just can’t know.”
“The key is that you don’t wanna’ both freak out at the same time.”
“Someone’s gotta’ hold the other one.”
“Exactly.”
“Look at those four. We’re over hear hoopin’ and hollerin’, and they’re all straight faced and serious like some book club.”
“I don’t wanna’ be an adult. I just wanna’ be grown up.”
“I don’t care about being an adult, or being a grown up. I just wanna’ be a man.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Confidence. Self esteem. Standing tall. By yourself.”
“No man’s an island, dude.”
“I just know that I don’t want to live without her. Not that I wanna’ kill myself or anything. I just don’t want to live without her.”
“That’s where I wanna’ be, man. That’s totally where I wanna’ be.”
