I Remember Everything

I am shaking my third martini of the evening. I washed down two Tylenol with codeine with my first. But do let me explain…

I spent three hours — THREE HOURS — in the dentist’s chair today.

Here I am fresh from three days in sunny Florida. Here I am wistfully recalling the moon reflected on tranquil Gulf waters. Here I am remembering alligators on the thirteenth hole, clouds drifting lazily out to sea, and stars shooting across an inky sky. Here I am enjoying The MTV, enjoying The NYC. Here I am fully and completely restored to my normal, rested, sane self. Here I am walking to the dentist thinking, ‘Life is good.’ And then… And then… And then!

And then the drills, the impressions, the x-rays, the open, close, open, close, the Novocain, the laser-coderized gums, the temporary crown, the potential root canal, the $1800 bill…

Three mother fucking hours in the dentist’s chair.

One word: ouch.

So there’s a bowl of Spaghettios in the microwave. So there’s a bowl of Breyer’s Natural Vanilla in the freezer. So there’s another martini to finish. And here’s me, grinning, bearing it, and remembering…

Remembering the sound of the waves, the wind through the palms, the dolphins lazily trolling down the coast, the pelicans diving for lunch, the sand between my toes, the sun shining down on my pale city skin…

I remember everything.