My New Implants

I just got in from implant surgery. I’m waiting for the pharmacy to fill my Vicodin prescription. My entire jaw is throbbing and tingling — believe it or not — itching as the novacaine wears off.

Dr. Kissel, my periodontist, injected my gums and palette with novacaine over 25 times. Then he made three incisions — two below, one above — and drilled three 10mm holes into my jaw bone. Then he wrenched in the implants: tiny titanium screws, and sewed me up. Nine stitches.

I was trying to imagine beaches and desert and sun and fun while I heard the bone being drilled and tasted the blood on my tongue. I kept hearing the Foo Fighters’ song “Monkey Wrench” in my head, in tune with the hum of the drill.

So now I’m sitting here sweating, and aching. It’s snowing outside. The traffic is loud. I have a few movies rented. And a bunch of fruit and yogurt and ice cream for smoothies.

So I’m gonna’ go ice my face and watch TV.