Can’t Explain

I stepped out of my office building and though, ‘Oh yeah, they called for rain tonight.’ Sure enough, rain was falling. Times Square was soaked. The sidewalks were choked with tourists. Garish lights reflected and collided on every surface. I dipped into my messenger bag and extracted a cheap umbrella. It’s shoddy wire skeleton was…

Read More

Hard To Listen To A Hard, Hard Heart

A psychologist might call it “dissociation.” I don’t feel like myself. I haven’t since Thanksgiving or so. It hasn’t manifested itself in any dramatic way. I feel disconnected from myself and others. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t have the energy to write, or record, or be creative in any way. I don’t want…

Read More

Belong

I’ve never really felt as though I belong. That’s not entirely true. I didn’t know it at the time, primarily because it’s not the kind of thing I thought about then, but I think I felt like I belonged when I was a kid. I’m talking about everything prior to eleven-years-old. Oak Park, Illinois, was…

Read More

Three Strange Days

My favorite cable network (day job notwithstanding) just went off the air. I didn’t have any television whatsoever for the longest time. Chris and I had an old Sony Trinitron when lived together way back in the ’90s. It had knobs and everything. No remote. But Chris ordered cable, and put an end to that.…

Read More

Rubber Soul

The “Imagine” mosaic in Strawberry Fields had a halo of roses this morning. There was a whole, green apple in the middle. I puzzled on it a moment as I ran by, and then I figured it out. I was 22-years-old the first time I visted New York with any sense of real mobility. Chris…

Read More

Running To Stand Still

It wasn’t much of a morning for running, but there I was, sprinting through Central Park in the freezing rain. The cold wind cut straight through my clothes. The freezing rain shot like pin pricks through my skin. It was somehow requisite. Somehow refreshing. A wake up call. After all, today was my first day…

Read More

Double Click

This is a surely harbinger of things to come. I was celebrating my last day off doing what we sometimes describe at work as “banging between boxes.” The Sundance Channel was playing documentaries all day. I watched four (“Disbelief,” “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart,” “No Secret Anymore,” and “Passenger 17”). At the same…

Read More

Lighten Up

This is a holiday I can rally around. I’m not much for Christmas. I mean, I’m down with JC and all, but I’m not crazy about all the commerce. Or the good tidings. If one more person said “Merry Christmas,” I might’ve slugged ’em. Of course, seeing Christmas through Ethan’s eyes helped. Chris and Jen…

Read More