Finally, My Fifteen Minutes

31-years-old, fifteen years of performing, eight years in New York City, and finally, I get my fifteen minutes. Well, my 45 seconds, anyway.

I wake up early. It’s only 5 a.m., so I go back to sleep. I fall deep, deep into a dream where I’m a front-seat passenger in a Humvee barreling down a country road taking out everything in its path: a picket fence, a goat, a plastic nativity scene. And as we’re about to plow into a farmhouse, I wake with a jolt.

Immediately I think, ‘I’m late for the race.’

Sure enough, the clock reads 9 a.m. But it doesn’t feel right — I overslept four hours? — so I get up, and check another clock: 7:00. And another: 7:00. Phew. I pull on my running shorts, dash down the stairs and run over to Central Park where I find my brother seated on the curb across from Tavern on the Green.

As I walk towards registration, I notice WABC Weekend Meteorologist Lee Goldberg doing standups, primarily because I nearly walk through his shot. He wraps. And, without thinking, I introduce myself and say, “I’ve got a great story for you: my brother over there just became a father four days ago.” Eight minutes later, I’m standing next to both of them speaking magically in sound bites to millions and millions of New Yorkers. Or the two dozen or so who were awake and watching Channel 7.

Lee: It’s a beautiful day out here in Central Park for the WABC Race Against Prostate Cancer, the kind of day we’ve been waiting for. On a sidebar, I’ve got Wagner vs. Wagner here: Christofer and Benjamin Wagner are brothers who are racing today. And Christofer, you just became a dad?

Chris: I did. His name is Ethan Baruch Wagner, and he was born on Tuesday morning. He’s a beautiful baby boy. We’re really excited.

Lee: That’s terrific, a new father. Congratulations. Now, Benjamin, who’s got the advantage between you two in the race today?

Benjamin: Well Lee, I’m gonna’ have to say my brother by just a few seconds.

Lee: Christofer?

Chris: Probably not today, Lee — I haven’t gotten much sleep since the baby’s been born.

Lee: Well good luck guys. And Happy Father’s Day Christofer.

Thanks Lee.